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amygdalamisfire
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Below are the 5 most recent journal entries recorded in the "amygdalamisfire" journal:
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10:33 pm
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Stuff
So i finally got a private lawyer to help me see my kids again. It's only been since the end of May since I last seen them! Hopefully if things go well I will get to see them by Xmas (doubtfully though) and if now it will be shortly after the new year. I can only imagine how much they have grown and how much they have changed. Julie will be talking up a storm finally and Summer, I just don't know what she will be like now. She's going to school and growing up too fast. It's hard to miss out on all the stuff that I should be experiencing with them.
I've still got my job at the restraunt (yeah...) and have decided to make a serious change in the spring with my whole life. I am really sick of having all this ability and wasting it and watching it 'burn away' from sticking to a midless job and being around boring, lifeless people. When Nikki phones and I try to have an intellegent conversation with her it is like my mind is asleep and can't wake up. I feel so stupid but know I just need to re-awaken. School is definately one thing I will look into and will apply for fall 2007 classes at university or tech. Come spring I've decided to pursue an idea I've had for quite awhile and start selling foods to grocery stores. Of all the things that I have gotten from being a cook for 10 years it's that I can make some kick-ass food now. I've started this before but always get side tracked with kid problems. I can't let that stop me anymore and won't. Nuff said.
I decided to do something for myself and joined a Karate class every week on tuesday. I've always wanted to take Karate since I was 10 and maybe this is what I need to show me that I can get out of my rut in life. I enjoy this class so much now that I find myself thinking about it alot the time. I also found out that I can go on friday in the city as well and not have to pay more for it....(sweet). I thought all this exercise was going to help me lose weight but holy shit I have gained 10 pounds. Maybe it's muscle mass I don't know but the thing is I feel 1000% times better so I don't care.
Snow. I hate it. blah. Bye.
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11:52 pm
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Ok September will be better....
I got my car adjusted and YES! it will be fixed even though it had $4600 damage!
My check was actually garnished this month but I have a good family and wow did they ever come to my aid!
I have also learned that my ex has commited fraud and my lawyer is going to notify the police about it. <<----WOW and ouch for her.
Here's to a better month for all!
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09:35 pm
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why me?
So I'm going to be swearing alot this time so I've decided to replace any bad words with the word 'taff'. It's off of the thief series of games.
Hahah those idiots that were going to buy the restraunt talked and taffing talked until my boss finally said either buy the taffing place or taf off! They offered her $30k for a restraunt that is worth 5 times that amount. I almost taffed my pants when she told them to 'taff off'. That's the end of that taffing mess. I still keep my job even though it would have been a nice change (whatever that may be).
I'm sure this happens to alot of couples but the first time a condom breaks and you don't realize it is very disturbing to say the least especially when you 'finish' without taking the soldier out of the barracks. To most couples it's off to the doctor the get that morning after pill when it should be called the taf you up pill. But my girlfriend is a little 'strange'. She really wants to marry me and have more children. In her mind getting pregnant would put the ring on her finger right then and there.
The last girl I was serious with really taffed me over but good. I have two children with her that I would not give up for the world. Long story short, she taffed me in the taf so bad that I don't want to get married let alone have more children until I am totally sure of what I am getting into. She decieved me for 5 taffing years until her own bulltaf caught up with her and made her into a taffing lunatic. Now I fight like taf just to get to see my kids. So taf getting married and having a kid with someone I have been dating for only 4 months (maybe more I don't give a taf).
So from 5am in the taffing morning until noon I had to convince her that having another child would just taf things up more for the both of us and marriage can wait until we are both sure of ourselves. Talk about taffing sweating blood. Off to the doctor we go.
On the way there we had to take a detour and ended up at an intersection only the city of saskatoon taffing civil engineers tafheads would think of doing. I pulled up to a stop sign before crossing 20th street. They had lights going east west and ??? stop signs for the north south. I did what I had to do. I Stopped, looked to see if there lights were red for them and started through. Yes I know you know what is going to happen (just like a Steven King book that is horribly predictable). I got halfway through the intersection and noticed a van was starting to creep ahead towards me on my left. The light turned green for them, I concluded, and then I was smashed into by some taffing idiot who didn't taffing see me!?? from the right. What a taffing moron.
I have to explain what my car means to me. It's a black tiburon worth about 11,500 (no brag intended if you insuated). For all the trouble that seems to be plauging me in my life from my kids to financial worries this was a symbol of hope to me. It meant that I was getting somewhere in life. I worked long and hard to make sure my credit report came out sparkling for the loans officer so I could get a decent vehicle. This car meant that I had succeded and gave me confidence like I have never had before. To see the whole front end pushed over 2 inches out of wack, the hood buckled, the quater panel crushed, the bumper (plastic) torn and most of my lights smashed hurt me bad. I didn't cry but I felt like a worthless piece of taff.
The car was still driveable, as was the taffing harvester of sorrow's car. exchanged info...blah claims blah sgi blah blah.
My girlfriend took her pill. Got really ill and had me watch her kids while she went to bed. She felt sick the next day after the second pill (of course). Now in the course of two days her one kid did this.
2 cell phones dipped in coffee. ( I fixed one the other was taffed)
water dumped into the back of a LIVE monitor ( suprised he didn't get electrocuted! Fixed that one too! )
Lit two boxes on fire in the basement (full of clothes no less)
Broke a 4 year old's nose at the playground (That taffed me off to no end. Hate to see kids get hurt)
Dumped bleach on the cat (suprisingly the cat didn't get any whiter or die.)
Emptied ALL of the shampoo and soaps onto the floor
Other than that. Nice kid....Taff!
Where am I at? Oh ya it's time for the taffing child support story! For the last two months maintenance has be on my taff for arrears. The arrears are from the last court case I had with my ex. I was ordered by the Judge to pay ex's fine for not letting me see the kids with my child support since it would just come out of her pocket anyways. Fair enough. I paid the court as ordered. I did not pay anything for two months after to my ex since I paid all her fines in one shot. Now maintenance said I didn't pay and that ex didn't report it as paid. So I got a copy of the court order AND my returned check AND my receipt to the court and mailed them to my officer at maintenance. Now this taffing taff said they can't give me credit for it because the court was for access not maintenance even thought it is a plain a taffing day on my court order how it would be given as credit. So I don't know if that taffing taff at maintenance is just a taffing taff or she is a taffing vendictive taff. All I know is they are garnisheeing my wages at the end of this month for something I don't taffing OWE!!!! Now my ex gets paid twice (once to pay for her taffing fines and now for taffing money I don't taffing owe her). How's that for taffing Justice. Suck my taff lady justice! Suck my taff and while you're at it shove those taffing scales up your taff!
A week later and I finally hear from sgi about the accident. I guess the taffhole decided to lie about all that happened that fine taffing day and now they are blaming me for the whole taffing thing. They said I entered the intersection when it wasn't safe to do. He told them the light was green all of the time and I just decided to 'dive' into the intersection. You see sgi is a no-fault insurance company and I guess that guy decided that he could save his taff from some unknown punishment for being an idiot by lying. Now if I really gave a taff the dumb taff probably doesnt remember giving me his address, phone number, place of work...blah blah when we exchanged information. He also doesn't know that I own a shotgun, 12 gauge in fact and that some day if things don't settle down I just may have to do a little no-fault by reason of insanity insurance claim for myself. Stupid taffer. Whatever, my adjustment for my car is tommorow, i'll just go get some gas and go see my girlfriend.
That's when another stupid taff backed up into my car.
I was in Tessier and pulled up to the tanks to see a vehicle already in front of me filling up. So I parked a good 15 feet behind the truck and went in to talk with my buddy Boomer. When I say the lady that owned the truck get into her vehicle, Boomer and I went back inside to see her not even look and back the taff up straight into my already broken car. Oh my god! I just started laughing and laughing. She looked at me and got out of her truck. She looked at my car and thought she did all that damage. I started to belly laugh and she just kept looking at me. I went over to my car and just laughed. She popped out the last few rivets that held the bumper in place and it was laying on the ground. The hood was folded up like two cards leaning against each other and all I could do was laugh. I was still laughing when I got on top of my car and jumped on the peak of the hood to fold it back down. I popped the hatch and threw the bumper half in and half out of the car and went home. I didn't even care. I phoned up the lady (I knew her) and told her not to worry about it cause once it got the bumper mickey-moused back on the car and the hood down it looked like it did after the first accident.
Why the taff can't there be alot of good things that happen to me so I can write about them instead?
I'm going to bed now. Maybe the next couple of weeks will be better.
Current Location: hell on earth
Current Mood: indescribable
Current Music: none
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01:46 am
[Link] | So tommorow I find out if I still work for the same owners that I have for 5 1/2 years now. Last thursday 3 guys came in the restraunt and decided they wanted to buy the place. They were kinda drunk so I don't know if when they sober up they will change their mind. They seem decent enough and want me to be their 'main man'.
I don't think they know the first thing about running a restraunt and are going to make me do it all. I better be getting some big cash for this. If they expect me to run the whole f'ing thing on the wage I get now they are f'ed.
I have already talked with some of 'my' girls that I work with and they won't be staying if I leave. Damn I love my co-workers. Between my rep as a cook and the girls as great servers they won't stand a chance starting over again in a small town like that. Sorry for the ego but that is the truth. It's kinda weird how much respect I have for that place. I don't want it go to a bunch of idiots and have it go defunct because of stupidity.
F, I hate change but this will be the best thing for me in a long time. later.
Current Mood:  uncomfortable
Current Music: Bassnectar-Kraddy Snakecharmer
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02:10 am
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Why am I here.
I guess this is the part that I am supposed to amaze and baffle you all with my brilliance and bullshit to make me unique and stand out. I'm not gonna even try. I think I'll use this virtual journal to keep in touch with my friends and others that have ties to my life. volatilespace and arhramor are two people that I would really like to bridge the distance gap that we have through here.
I finally got to see my friend, Nikki, after a long wait. The last time I seen her it was for 15mins and that just made me miss her more. I always forget how much of a friend she is too me until I hear from her or see her. Funny thing is it could be 5 years and not here a word from her and it would be like a week had past. Don't think I'll have someone in my life like her in this lifetime again.
She introduced me too some new kind of porn! Just kidding. I have never seen something so amazing and sensual in my life. Tribal fusion belly dancing. www.theindigo.net If you took belly dancing and slowed it way down and put more precision into it that would be what it was like. I've always liked that kind of dance but this is definitely my new favorite. A guy that says that a naked girl turns him on the most is missing out on so much. There is nothing more erotic than watching a girl's undulating hips and swaying curves moving to a primal beat. It's breathtaking to say the least. Better than any porn I've seen.
Nikki and I watched I heart Huckabees. I've really never thought to much about philosophy until now. Nikki explained a little of what she had learned and it definately peaked my interest. I think I have found a new diversion for the time being and am going to study up on this subject. Though reading about stuff like Nile-ism (sorry if this is typo-ed) is a little frightening to me. I really don't want to come to the conclusion that all is null and void.
I know this is my space to write in but I must say that Nikki is quite a girl. I have never known anyone that can be so cultured and wizened at here age. It makes me realize there is more to life than what I have been living and I envy her for that.
Trevor... Have you ever met someone that you know would be a good friend to have around but couldn't have around. That's him.
To a girl that I don't even know. Just breathe, Ashley. Time will pass and you will heal.
Goodnight.
Current Location: basement
Current Mood:  tired
Current Music: none
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